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"Look at you. Ican't remember a guy around here looking as good as you do today."Michael began to regain his composure. "I do?," he queried in apparentdisbelief."Yes, Michael, you do." But I feel so strange." Like I said, first day on a new job will do that to you."They both laughed. "I guess so." So how about lunch?" Michael's look said it all. "That sounds just like whatthe doctor ordered." Let's check out the cafeteria." They have a delicious chicken salad onMonday.Michael seemed to recall that he didn't particularly like salads, but todaywas different. Today, the sound of salad was appealing."I'd love that," he confided and the two headed out the door.Inside the cafeteria, Michael stood patiently in line behind Stacy. Whentheir turn came, a large cook with heavy arms and a thick chest greeted themjovially."Good afternoon, ladies."Michael's smile faded in an instant.Hi, Gus, responded Stacy. "Two chicken salads and two diet cokes to go."Comin' right up girls, the cook smiled.. "Human lands always have the worst allergies. No wonder humans die so fast and easy."Taking advantage of the lull, Pardin asked, "Gentlemen, this being the caretaker's cottage, could you leave your axes outside on the porch?" You aren't going to try anything funny," Bernie said with a touch of menace in his voice.Pardin was about to raise the "I'm offended by your suggestion" defense but decided against when he saw the look on the dwarf's face. "You can't drink tea with an axe in your hand," he said. "The water for tea is hot." Oh," said the third dwarf to his companion as he walked towards the door. "Humans are so namby-pamby. The way my mom always said it was 'you can't drink tea with your dick in your hand, ' which makes a hell of a lot more sense than what he said." Humans have dicks?" the nose-picker asked."Dunno," the third one shrugged as he dropped his axe. "Ask the Biffer Bimbo elf. I heard there isn't a house in the magic lands where she hasn't dropped someone's pants. More.
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